Saturday in the sun

Sitting here in the sun and feeling like life could not be any better right now. That is really how I feel. Scrolling through Pinterest and found this blog with deep questions to ask yourself. So here we go;

Do I like who I am right now?

Yes I do. Very much so. I often look back at who I used to be and thank god I grew out of that. I was always living in the fast lane, never planned ahead and took crazy risks. I will always be wild but it was a bit too crazy at times. Today I am more grounded and I need so much less to feel fulfilled and at peace.

When was the last time I laughed so hard?

It has been a long time I honestly can't remember... Been feeling very low for a while and nothing has made me laugh that hard. I think I need some Kika around to get that belly-laugh!

What would I truly regret not doing if I died tonight?

Hmmm I need to think here. Nothing major to be honest. I have lived to the fullest. Travelled the world, partied with rockstars, built a career, moved to a different country, met some really cool people, met the love of my life, got married, always cared for my family, always speak my mind and I feel like I have lived my way! I think to myself sometimes that I wish I had something to leave behind as a legacy. Invent something, write a book or create something that will live on. But that hasn't come to me yet and that is ok. Hopefully it will and hopefully I still have time. But if I knew I would pass on soon I would write letters for few people. Especially 1 who has hurt me and let me down. She will hear exactly how I feel and what a piece of shit she is for treating people like this. I need to get that of my chest to be able to rest in peace. I will also write many many letters for those who need to hear the opposite! So blessed with the good people in my life. You know who you are:-)

What would I do if my biggest fear came true?

My biggest fear is losing family. Losing my parents for example. I don't know how to live without them. I can't. Don't want to think about it. Can't... What would I do? I really don't know. I want to say go home to Sweden..but my husband is here. He is my rock. I seriously don't know...

What would do with the remainder of my life if I only had one year left to live?

Good question, we were just talking about this today. I would def take my husband and go back home. I would want to experience the 4 seasons one last time in my home country. I might go on 1 or 2 trips but I have travelled so much already all over the world so I wouldn't be pressed on going left and right. I would just use every second to spend with the people I love and care about where I got my roots. Would keep Cash and Flow by my side 24/7. I would organize parties and hopefully I could have time and money enough to start a foundation that would help animals in need. I always dreamt about doing something special for the senior citizens. Something wild and crazy that would rock their world!

What are the 3 things I am most grateful for?

First of all the obvious. Family and friends. I am so thankful I have brothers and a sister by my side. Parents who have raised me to be someone I am very proud of. I am very very grateful for my husband. I feel like i say this all the time but he is the best thing ever. I am beyond thankful for him and his entire family. That comes from experiences with very bad people in my past and lack of love and respect. I learned the hard way was a healthy relationship is and I recognize it! Also very grateful for being a person with a wild heart and lack of fear as a younger me. Without that personality trait I wouldn't be where I am today!

When was the last time I extended kindness to somebody?

Well outside of my own family, I want to say that it is probably when I bought all the kids in our neighborhood ice-cream. But I try to do something nice for others as often as I find an opportunity.

What aspect of my life still needs improvement?

I need to excersise more for my own health. I need to procrastinate less and I need to be more kind to myself. I can be very harsh to myself and I am my own worst enemy. I need to work on my self esteem.

What are the best things you have done in life thus far?

Easy top 3! 1) Move to America is the best thing I could do for myself. 2) Marry my husband is something that I appreciate every single day! 3) Start my position with Còdigo 1530 Tequila. Best move ever!!!

What annoys me the most?

I am sure there are deeper answers to this but on top of my mind I have to say people who chew gum with their mouth open and blowing bubbles. That really gets to me! Also annoys me with negative people who never see anything positive in situations. That brings me down. Lately I have a new found annoyance for people who slow traffic down in the left lane. I get road rage out of that!!!

What makes my life meaningful?

Feeling that I accomplish something whatever it might be. Doing well at work, helping others, planning surprises for friends & family. Taking care of my man, making Cash & Flow's life amazing. Giving. Helping. Caring. Improving. Creating memories.

How much money would I be willing to give to those who need if I won the lottery?

A lot! I have thought about this before. Throughout my 36 years I have lived both in very very minimalistic financial means and also very comfortable economic situations. For myself, I don't need millions. I just want to be able to afford my day to day expenses and feel some kind of security for the near future. Anything above that I can donate to charity. But I wouldn't give it to any organization who pays their board members tons of money. I would probably build my own charity!

What are the things that put me off?

If you are mean to animals you are off my list. If you don't have a heart and care for others you are off my list. People who think they are better than others better not be around me. We are all equal in a sense of worth. I really don't like people who look down on "regular" people whatever that means. Kardashians is a great example. I can NOT stand them! If you look up to them, you should revalue your values!

What is a peaceful life?

It is a state of mind. No anxiety about the future and no holding grudges from the past. I am almost there.

What am I most afraid of about life?

Like I said... losing my family members. I also have a fear of giving birth. MAJOR fear.. If you have any advice on this pls let me know. Sometimes I am afraid of dying, sometimes not...

Would I enjoy watching a movie about my own life?

Yes definitely! But I would enjoy it more when I am older so it would be longer! I do feel like I have a lot to share and life lessons teach younger versions of myself.

How would I describe the perfect day?

First of all, wake up without any alarm at my own pace. I wouldn't want any times to catch, not looking at the clock all day is a good feeling. To be honest my day today is basically perfect. Be with Cash, cook with T and have the ability to enjoy our backyard that we worked so hard for. It is all I need. A drink, good food and maybe company of friends and family would be the cherry on top!

What am I willing to go the extra mile for?

To make life easier for someone else. I can go lengths for that.

What are my top 4 negative habits I must to change to something better?

The way I speak to myself. I haven't found the tools to do that yet but it would improve my quality of life. I wish I didn't procrastinate, that has been a flaw of mine for many many years. Hate it! I am not lazy but I can be too comfortable too often. I need to run that extra mile. I also need to save more money. I am a generous person and I like to spoil everyone around me. On top of that i have the amazon app LOL

Who do I look up to?

This changes but right now it is Carolina Gynning. TOTALLY love her! Listen to her podcast when I drive and her vlogs are one of the highlights of my week! She is amazing! Very colorful personality and she makes me smile. Everyday!