I love Mondays. They feel like a new beginning and a fresh start. This is my birthday week but I don't think I will celebrate this year.... I know my man has something planned for me Friday, not sure what but I am looking forward to spend my day with him. Other than that I won't plan anything or invite people over. I have put a lot of thought in to it and like I mentioned before.. I feel very lonely.
I'm always the one making surprises for others but I can honestly say never have anyone thrown me a surprise party or dinner. I always wanted someone to show up and ring by doorbell from back home. Dreamt of being invited to my own bday dinner or anything along those lines. I am talking about outside my family and husband. I can give you an example of a Swedish friend (this has happened many times) Last time I was home I invited some friends to my parents house for dinner. In my mind, I have flown 9 hours then driven 3 to get home so maybe my friends can drive 20 min to see me? I refuse to drive around to visit everyone and I think it is reasonable for them to come see me. But no, she was too tired to make the drive. How do you think that feels?
I think of everyone who has been to NYC and I have rolled out the red carpet and organized everything from A to Z. Do you think I hear from them when I am in Sweden and maybe get an invite for a dinner? NOPE.
So for now I am done with throwing parties and creating memories for others. Sounds a bit harsh but that is how I feel now. It might change.... My birthday will be celebrated in a small scale, just me and my other half. No other efforts will be made from my end.
This week I am going to Connecticut. Their outdoor restaurants will be partially open. 25% capacity so I might see some business come in. I will continue to work on my secret little project, I will tell you what it is as soon as it is done! This week I will also continue running and exercise. I really enjoy that!
I have to say, this Corona chaos has in a way been positive for me. I have learned new skills, had time to finish our backyard, lowered my anxiety A LOT and started a new project that I am VERY excited about! Feels like I was able to take a step back and look at myself and my life from outside the box. I have a new inner peace and I am not worrying as much. Time for myself was just what I needed...